Eight Ways Mike Tyson Could Lose on Friday Night
We know there are no guarantees in the fight game, but there is an occasional miracle. So what are the chances that Mike Tyson doesn't beat Danny Williams on Friday night at Freedom Hall in Louisville? Slim, but possible.
Here is a list of eight different scenarios that could prevent Tyson from winning the fight:
- Taking a late afternoon nap on the day of the fight, Tyson oversleeps when the front desk at his hotel forgets to give him his wake-up call. He confronts the poor guy who forgot to wake him, and after pummeling him behind the registration desk, Tyson is arrested by Louisville's finest on charges of assaulting a receptionist. After posting bail, he goes to the fight and is disqualified when he tackles Williams before the opening bell.
- On his way to the fight, Tyson suddenly gets the urge to stop by the Ken-Tuck Pawn Shop, Bakery and Tattoo Parlor for a donut and a little more face art before the fight. Enamored with the tattooed profile of Don King etched on his forehead, Tyson loses all track of time and shows up at Freedom Hall at 3 a.m. on July 31.
- Tyson decides to play pro football and signs with the Miami Dolphins as a free-agent running back, hoping to fill the big shoes of retired running back Ricky Williams.
- On his way into the ring, Tyson slips on the top step and slams his head into corner post, knocking him out cold. After a 20-minute delay, he finally regains consciousness, but the damage to his head leaves him thinking he's a member of the Radio City Rockettes. The fight is finally called when he starts high-stepping to the National Anthem.
- The guy watching his pigeons calls and tells Tyson one of his birds appears to be sick. Tyson immediately catches a bus home.
- Williams, awarded a Harmon Killebrew autographed Louisville Slugger by the City of Louisville a week before the fight, somehow manages to slip the gift into the ring with him. Even with the baseball bat, it takes Williams six rounds to finally stop Tyson.
- Distracted by the ring-card girls who are dressing next door, Tyson's corner grabs the wrong bottle and between the first and second round, washes his mouthpiece out with Chanel No. 5.
- In reality, Danny Williams is really Danny Lewis, Lennox Lewis's bigger, stronger, younger brother.