Snoop Roygy Dogg, Jr.
It wasn’t much more than a dog-and-pony show, a little hip-hop, a little rap, a little flesh flashed by six attractive dancing girls all in a row.
It was confusing, really. You tuned in expecting to see a fist fight and instead, you get the opening act at the MGM. You get dancing girls and flashing lights and glitter and a wailing fighter pretending he’s a rap star.
And you get this pained look on your face, thinking you missed the fight and now you have to sit through the Gorgeous George show.
When Roy Jones Jr., finally left the dance stage Saturday night after his prefight theatrics, he climbed into the ring and went about his business with his usual efficiency, toying with a game but seriously out-gunned Clinton Woods.
It wasn’t a fight as much as it was a guest appearance by Jones, a quick cameo for all the beautiful people who pay top dollar to witness a beating.
Woods had as much chance of beating Jones as Barney Fife. What Jones did to Woods was what he’s been doing for the last couple years: boring us to death. You’ve got to believe HBO is wondering how it can get out of this crazy, multi-fight contract mess with Jones. Maybe if he fought someone we’d heard of before - someone who actually knows how to slip
a punch and throw one - he’d clean up his reputation. Because right now, he’ s popular in that strange, Michael Jackson sort of way: You shrug your shoulders and wonder what the hell is going on inside his head.
He’s either the best fighter in the world or the best manipulator - the best dodger - the fight game has ever seen. The last time he shared the ring with someone dangerous, it was Don King. Or maybe it’s just the light-heavyweight division going through some rough times. Maybe there’s no other 175-pounder out there who can fight, who knows how to slip a punch, throw an uppercut or land a right cross. Woods showed heart, but after awhile, you get tired of seeing all the blood.
Guys with heart are always getting beat up.
Now that he’s made his mark in the journeymen-fighter circuit, Jones should either fight WBO champ Dariusz Michalczewski or Antonio Tarver, or he should get out of the light-heavyweight division.
A fight with IBF cruiserweight champ Vassily Jirov would be interesting, but that won’t happen. Jirov is a legitimate threat. Jones knows who to fight. He’s made a career out of it.
Let’s try the heavyweights.
Lennox Lewis? You’re joking. The Klitschko boys?
Another knee slapper. David Tua? Get serious.
How about John Ruiz, the WBA champ? His name keeps showing up in all the Roy Jones stories.
Why Ruiz? Because Jones knows he can beat him. Ruiz is a nice guy with heart, but compared to Jones, he's slower than the month of January and easier to catch than a two-legged dog. He throws a punch and clinches, throws a punch and clinches. He’s hand-made for Jones, a large, slow moving target who couldn’t get out of the way of a stalled truck.